It probably shouldn’t be surprising that in a culture of consumerism the very concept has encroached even on how we date. But yet, as we sat down to write this article, we were saddened by how much consumerism has crept into dating society. This is particularly evident in the form of how dating apps are developed and used, even though there are advantages to them. We don’t want to put a damper on your Valentine’s Day month. Nor do we want to discourage you from actively dating, online or otherwise. But we’d feel as though we were remiss if we didn’t share our observations on modern day dating and consumer infiltration.
To Be Honest, Relationships Have Long Had an Element of Consumerism
We certainly don’t want to make it sound as though we’re unaware that, historically, there’s always been an element of consumerism in relationships. After all, historically brides were actually property who were bought and sold. It doesn’t get much more consumer than that. And while, thankfully, much of the world has moved beyond that, current dating trends in the form of apps and websites have infused just as much subversive consumer behavior into the dating process as overtly buying somebody was. Yes, we are not buying people. But we are selecting them based on consumer driven habits and behaviors.
Consumer Behavior on a Website or App: More Important Than Your Happily Ever After
If you listen to the advertisements written by most dating apps and websites, you will think that their primary objective is to find you the love of your life. And, in truth, by now likely all of us know somebody who has found their forever partner on a dating website or app. But that’s not really what dating websites are designed for. After all, while success stories are important, so are the same metrics that drive any online destination or mobile app. How many times are you returning to the site? How long do you stay on the site? How many months do you pay your membership fee? How many ads are you exposed to? While the product team at any online dating destination cares about your compatibility and chances of finding your soul mate, the marketing team is working hard to make sure that you also apply basic consumer browsing and shopping habits to your experience.
Revenue Models: It’s Not Just for Selling Shoes
Whether you like it or not, if you’re dating online then you’re contributing to somebody’s bottom line. Let’s be honest. There’s just something “icky” about the idea that money is being made off of the process of your finding a partner. Is it less icky than buying a wife? Absolutely and obviously yes. But there’s still an undercurrent of discomfort about turning the most basic human need, companionship, into a revenue generating business. On the other hand, in contemporary society there’s also something that feels so normalized about that.
Speed and Convenience: Your Choosing a Dating Product Rather Than a Path to Success
Dating apps and websites are all competing with each other. And people are busy. While a small subset of the business is devoted to the idea of a longer matchmaking process, the current trend in dating apps is to be faster, more convenient and more data driven so that you have to do less work. And when you’re looking for an online dating destination, be honest, you’re using consumer driven decisions about what you want. Increasingly, these decisions are about quantity and convenience rather than quality. And that perfectly mimics the current consumer behavior trend as well.
Packaging: It’s All About The Profile
Obviously looks and appearance have always mattered in dating and matchmaking. But the advent of dating websites and apps have made positioning yourself to find the perfect partner even more about marketing yourself. You need the perfect profile picture, often selected because of a series of articles about what “works” and what “doesn’t work” in a profile picture. You need a great headline, catchy text and then the ability to sell yourself via email or chat to a potential date. Does this sound like consumer marketing techniques applied to dating? We’ll let you answer that.
Demographics: More Data Driven Than Ever
Again, if we’re being honest, people have a general demographic preference for whom they want to date. In an ideal world, online dating and apps would expand this demographic presence by allowing people to be exposed to more demographics and seeing their profiles, thoughts and shared interests. In reality, the mass amount of data available to sort by via online dating is leading to even more narrowly defined demographics. A person can simultaneously limit searches by age, skin color, weight and educational status. Marketers have always used this kind of narrow big data to target a specific demographic population. Now people are doing it in their dating lives as well.
Shopping Around: Everybody’s Looking for the Best Deal … or the Upgrade
We can’t cover the topic of the epidemic of people “shopping around” when dating as well as many other publications have in the recent past. But we will ask you to consider this: is scrolling through pages of pictures and headlines, displayed as products, leading you to truly search for “the one.” Or is it leading you to endlessly compare options, much like you would if you were searching for a blender. If the answer is the latter, then it’s time to sit down and think about whether you want to apply shopping behaviors to dating decisions.
Ads: The Obvious Final Statement
And of course, you need to stop and ask yourself if ads have any place in the process of dating. We think we know what you’ll say!
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Photo Credit: Intel Free Press via Flickr
